Cyperstalking: Cyberstalkers and your Children

They stalk your children in your home, they harass them, yet no amount of locks on the doors or alarm system zones will protect them from this; cyperstalking. Cyperstalking is a word that didn’t exist 10 years ago, it does today.

The key to prevent your child, and thus yourselves, from becoming a victim is knowledge. This article will arm you with much knowledge as well as cyperstalking statistics.

Cyberstalkers or predators are able to attract most children into conversations through a sense of presenting themselves as familiar; not strangers. They may achieve this by reading children’s profiles on MySpace FaceBook or Xanga; or any of the other numerous free websites popular with children. For example, they may lure a child into a conversation about the child’s favorite toy or football team, creating within the child a sense of intimacy; resulting in the child “letting his guard down.” Increasingly more common, however is the number of children who are being cyperstalked by other children. Perhaps bullies from school, a friendship ended or a jealous boyfriend or girlfriend. As a parent, it is imperative to always keep the lines of communication open with your children. Know what is going on in their lives and make sure they know you want to know what’s going on in their lives.

Additionally, cyperstalking takes many other forms to include:

• Starting an online conversation/relationship and moving it offline

• Having an offline relationship/conversation and moving it online

• Being targeted by someone who posts messages online about you

• Your passwords and accounts are targeted to gain access to your entire computer information

• A person uses your own identity to discredit or hurt you

There are guidelines that your children can and should follow to help prevent themselves from becoming a victim.

Tips for children and teens:

• Put everything behind password protected walls, where only friends can see. Keep on top of who you allow to be your “friends” online.

• Protect your password and make sure you really know who someone is before you allow them onto your friend’s list.

• Blur or morph your photos a bit so they won't be abused by cyber bullies or predators.

• Don't post anything your parents, principal or a predator couldn't see.

• What you post online stays online – forever. Think before you “click.”

• Don't so or say anything online you wouldn't say offline.

• Protect your privacy and your friends' privacy too. In the case of a friend, get their okay before posting something about them or their picture online.

• Check what your friends are posting and saying about you. Even if you are being careful, they may not be and maybe putting you at risk.

• That cute 14-year old boy may not be cute, may not be 14 and may not be a boy. You never know!

• And, unless you’re prepared to attach your MySpace to your college, job, internship, scholarship or sports team application, don’t post it publicly.

Tips for Parents:

• Talk to your kids about anything that concerns you and make sure they are telling you the truth

• Ask to see their profile page, the first day they post it as well as the next and the next. This gives them a chance to remove everything that isn’t appropriate or safe. It also becomes a way to teach them what not to post instead of being a “caught you in a lie moment.” Think of it as the loud announcement before walking downstairs to a teen party your child is hosting.

• Keep up to date on the kind of video’s, sites and other things that your children can see online.

• Most websites do not require any sort of identity verification to become registered. What this means is simply this: If there is an age restriction to access "adult" material on the site, it is on the honor system as most sites have not implemented any sort of meaningful age verification process. Also, because many of these sites have millions of members, they rely on self-policing to keep the site relatively free of illegal or improper postings. Even at that, objectionable material is relatively easy to find and can take some amount of time to get addressed by site administrators.

• Keep the computer in a central family location, not in the child's room. The computer shouldn't be an escape for the child, but a family activity.

• Get to know your children's online friends. You wouldn't let them spend lots of time with a new friend in the neighborhood until you've met them and know about them, online friends are no different.

• Screen e-mail with all younger children. Many pedophiles attach child pornography to e-mails sent to children. The child pornography is used to convince the child that other children are performing sexual acts. Make sure you screen all attachments or limit e-mail through parental control features or software.

• Help your children keep computing online in balance. Too many children get compulsive about computing and forget to play with real friends and never play outdoors in physical activity. Help them find a healthy balance.

• If you can't be home with them when they're online, use child protection software to help keep an eye on them. Some software keeps them from sharing personal information with others online, like their names, addresses and telephone numbers.

• Make sure they understand that they should never meet anyone in real life that they met online without parents in attendance, and that people online are often not honest about who or what they are.

Below are graphs that contain important information about cyber stalking: